For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: (Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV)
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; (Ecclesiastes 3:2 ESV)
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up; (Ecclesiastes 3:3 ESV)
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance; (Ecclesiastes 3:4 ESV)a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; (Ecclesiastes 3:5 ESV)
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away; (Ecclesiastes 3:6 ESV)
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; (Ecclesiastes 3:7 ESV)
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:8 ESV)

This passage from the bible has been on my mind for much of this journey. I am so thankful this was a time to heal and build up and laugh and dance.
During the month we spent at the ICU I saw a lot of life and death. when you spend a lot of time in the waiting room there you hear family members and friends talking amongst themselves about what brought them to The ICU . Some you see for days on end. Others only for a few hours. I heard people weeping in the hall ways because someone had passed on. On the night the doctor tried unsuccessfully to get the drain back in Tony's head the doctor came to talk to me. He said one thing he had come to believe is that there is a higher power that is ultimately calling the shots. He could use all the skills he had as a surgeon on two seemingly identical cases but ultimately God would decide who would live or dye. He told me they had an emergency surgery that night that did not go well. I knew who he was talking about. I heard the parents of a young man talking about the boy earlier. He was riding a motorcycle I believe and was hit by a car. He was bleeding too profusely for them to operate earlier in the day. I never saw them again.
On another occasion Matt and I were going into Tony's room and had to wait in front of Tony's room as a body covered by a sheet was wheeled passed his door.
We recently found out that on the same day we left Fresno for rehab "Terry" had died in the same hospital Tony was in. The place we were staying at was named after "Terry". He was hit by a car some 50 years earlier and his mom drove several miles every day to see him while he was in a coma. He recovered and his brother and mother later spear headed the building of "Terry's House."
When my parents died I mourned for my loss. If a loved one is a Christian, you know " to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord". I take great comfort in the fact that they are in heaven and I will see them again someday. As hard as it was to let them go, I knew they had both lived a full life.